Being stubborn can be more of a curse than a blessing.
Some people are born stubborn. They come from a long line of stubborn mothers or fathers or both! Stubborn babies are being born everywhere, everyday. But, healthy adults don’t stay infantile and juvenile, they mature! Being born stubborn or having stubborn parents is no excuse for you to stay stubborn.
The word “stubborn” most likely derives in Old English from the term “stiff-bourne“; meaning “born with a stiff-neck” (which was not a compliment). It meant full of pride, blinded by pride.
“When you are full of pride on the inside, it makes you stiff, stubborn and creates strife with others” John C. Maxwell
The following are reasons why stubbornness is a curse and will cause immaturity to reign in and over your life causing you to miss promotions, opportunities and relationships.
The Curse
1. Stubborn People are often Stagnant People. Being stubborn is a cap to your personal growth and development. Unless, you are like 90 to 100 years old (they’ve earned the right to be stubborn!), your stubbornness is most likely causing you to stagnate. Stagnation is literally you becoming dull. Your stubbornness can dull your skill set, dull your heart, and dull your mind. Your light grows dim.
2. Stubborn people are often Ear-Plug People. Basically, your stubbornness causes you to be a bad listener. Stubborn people aren’t quick to draw conclusions, because they’ve already drawn the conclusion before you speak! Ear-Plug People don’t want to hear it, don’t want to discuss it and can’t fathom that there could be a view point that has value other than their personal bent.
3. Stubborn People appear to others as Pompous People. Because stubbornness leads to poor listening, others draw conclusions based on stubborn behavior. These conclusions from others often view the stubborn one as aloof, arrogant and or pompous. Pompous people are filled with plastic and shallow relationships. Authentic, transparent people stay away from the pompous.
4. Stubborn People are often viewed as Stupid People. Stupid in the sense of “being slow to understand, as in a haze or fog.” Listen, you may not be the most intelligent person in your circle, but, your stubbornness only exacerbates the appearance that you are even less intelligent–literally, stumbling through the fog with no clear sense of direction! Stupid literally can mean “of no understanding.” When stupidity births stubbornness everyone involved looses.
5. Stubborn People become Forgotten People. They are not forgotten in the sense that they aren’t remembered (in fact, just the opposite, they are memorable for the wrong reasons). But, forgotten in the sense that when the organization moves forward they are left behind. Competency aside, this often explains why stubborn people don’t get promoted, don’t get selected or don’t get invited when they feel they are fully deserving–others don’t!
The Cure
The Key to overcoming stubbornness: Sensitivity. You can be a person who holds to strong character and conviction, yet still has a willing spirit and the ability to yield. You won’t be viewed as stubborn, rather as reasonable, yet, with deep convictions. Sensitivity leads us to love or love produces in us a sensitivity towards others that is often lacking when stubbornness rules. Without such sensitivity the stiffness of your heart, neck and life are heading for unwanted brokenness and loss.
“Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.” Psalm 32:9