Did you ever lie to your parents as a child?
If you did, you probably did it to get out of trouble or to keep someone else out of trouble! It seemed like a good idea, but probably didn’t turn out well, especially, if your parents already knew the truth!
“Buy truth, and do not sell it…” King Solomon, Proverbs 23:23
The Powdered-Donut
I remember once as a child taking a white-powdered doughnut off a buffet that I didn’t pay for and eating it. I thought I was in the clear, except my sister noticed the inescapeable white powder on my face (she was jealous I didn’t share with her). She told on me. My father asked me if I had eaten a donut I didn’t pay for, “well, not technically…” Isn’t it interesting that when we are caught we often think we can “wiggle” out of it, get “technical” or become the instructor of semantics! However, I had a righteous father. My father insisted I tell the truth. I did. He made me go back into the restaurant and pay for the doughnut. I was embarassed, but he taught me a valuable lesson that day: His son was going to tell the truth and live the truth, despite the cost. Because, truth is the key to integrity.
The truth is the most valuable commodity that any family can invest in and every family should invest it. Truth must be honored and treasured in a home. Truth is mocked and twisted in our culture today. The truth seems only to be honored, when and if it is convenient. More often than not, truth has increasingly inconvenient and cheap. If you value integrity, do not let this become the way of your home and the way of your children.
Family Core Value: Truth
One of our (Julie and I) family’s core values is to “Always tell the truth and never lie.” It’s been my experience that children naturally struggle with this. Telling the truth can seem difficult, but concealing matter with deceitfulness yields a harvest of destruction and needless pain. Truth illuminates deception and casts clarity on suspicion. Deceitful people run from the truth. We want our children to be truth-seekers and truth-tellers. Too many parents lie, exaggerate and embellish the truth to friends, spouses or co-workers with their children present. All these parents are doing is reinforcing that the truth only matters when it is convenient.
What does the Truth do?
1- Brings Discomfort to the Deceitful. When your children lie to you, don’t they squirm? A guiltly conscience has little rest. I’ve found that honest people tend to sleep better than dishonest people. I’ve spoken to countless people that can’t sleep at night because they wrestle with “doing the right thing,” which most often means telling or living the truth. Isn’t it interesting that when you get still to got to sleep, many people are often “haunted by the truth” more than they are “haunted by lies.”
2- Brings Stories, Facts & People Into Alignment. Deceitful people use ‘versions’ of the truth, most often, because they can’t keep their stories straight. Honest people that honestly forget the truth, have no trouble changing course once the truth has been establish. Deceitfulness in the Bible often is associeted “crooked” or “twisted.” Stories that change aren’t straight, they are crooked, bent or twisted–avoid such things.
3- Brings Motivation to Light. The truth has a way of bringing to light in an instance or over time the hidden motivations of both the honest and the dishonest. An honest person with selfish motivations can be corrected by the truth. A dishonest person with dishonest motivations will be exposed by the truth.
The rest of Solomon’s proverb says,
“Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction and understanding”
4- Brings Irreproachable Wisdom to Confrontations: Know this, if you value you the truth, you will brought into confrontations. I once had a young lady ask if my daughter could spend the night at her house. I responded, “no, I’m sorry.” She was indignant at my denial and said, “why not?” So, lovingly, I told her the truth, “Because, you have a reputation for being dishonest and sneaky, which I have observed with my own eyes to be true.” Her jaw dropped and her only recourse was to walk away.
5- Brings Appropriate Instruction and Understanding. Your children will not always understand. When I ate the donut, told the truth (after compulsion), and had to repay what I ate–I didn’t understand what my father was teaching me at that time. But, over the years it has become clearer that he was straightening out something in me that was bending toward being twisted or crooked. I am glad now, that my father practiced personal integrity and demanded that his children practice it as well. Teaching appropriate understanding paves a path of clarity for the future.
Pastor Johnny Hunt (@johnnymhunt), our once-and-always pastor and friend, a true shepherd of the sheep, has stated many times his favorite Bible verse, “The righteous man walks in his integrity (truth in the inward and outward parts); and his children are blessed after him” Proverbs 20:7 (NKJV).
How well is your family doing at “buying the truth?” How are you investing in the truth?
Remember, Lies ensnare, deception twists, but the truth sets you free!
*I love hearing from you! Thanks to all of you who share and repost this blog!
Great post! I loathe lies and it is a huge thing in this family to tell the truth!
Wonderful post. Glad you’re doing a blog for those of us who can’t come to your class in person any more!
Outstanding work Alex! Thank you very much….all taken to heart.
Well stated Alex! Thanks for sharing!
Your father never envisioned my little boy would be writing about the donut episode some day as a grown man with children of his own.