Parents and Grandparents listen up. There are some “common sense” expressions of truth that your children and grandchildren simply aren’t hearing anymore. In love and wisdom, make sure you are speaking these principles into the lives of your children.

#1: Life’s not fair. Only recently did we start hearing that life was supposed to be fair. My entire childhood and for every generation before me that I have interviewed, I always heard said “life’s not fair.” Hey, news flash, nothing has changed. There is no government, no law, no ordinance, no legislation, no system that can ensure absolute fairness. In fact, beware of those who do, because chances are they are simply redistributing what doesn’t belong to them to others to ensure their own position. Teach your children that bad things happen to good people, there are winners and losers, and nice guys don’t always finish first. Train your children that we live on a fallen planet. Because we live on a fallen planet, we live on an unfair planet. I met only one person who was fair almost all of the time: my mother. But, just about everyone else I have ever met has a bent or bias built into them as well (my mom did too, but she did not want to show partiality to any one of her six children…maybe, until her last baby boy came along!). Teach your children how to work hard not to expect life to be fair. 

#2: Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You. In case you didn’t know this is called the “Golden Rule.” It has served well every generation of people who have ever believed it and practiced it. And did you know… it actually comes from the Bible. It simply means, treat people the way you would want to be treated. This is the solution to the nonsense of “fairness.” The Golden Rule puts a value on all people and helps you value people even when you don’t like them. The Golden Rule is what Jesus taught and demonstrated when after being beaten and hung on a cross to die, he looked at the very men who abused him so unjustly and said, “Father, forgive them.” Parents you best teach this by modeling it. Model it with your boss, your spouse, and the jerk who cuts you off on the highway. The Golden Rule is Matthew 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” The Golden Rule teaches your child to monitor and manage their own conduct and to respect those around them. 

William Wilberforce, the man whose deep convictions led him to lead the charge to eradicate slavery in the British Empire said,

“Let everyone regulate his conduct by the golden rule of doing to others as in similar circumstances we would have them do to us, and the path of duty will be clear before him.”

#3: Honor Your Father and Your Mother. Respect for parents and grandparents is at an all time low. The disrespect among the youth of this nation is rapidly getting out of hand. Teaching your children to honor their elders is an absolute necessary pillar in any successful society. Honor is best taught and modeled in the home. Sadly, so many of our homes are broken and full of dishonor. When a husband honors his wife and a wife honors her husband in front of their children they send powerful messages to their children about authority. This rule is actually one of the Ten Commandments and the only one with a promise. The promise was a long life. Submission to authority leads to civility, honor and peace. Rejection of authority leads to confusion, chaos and anarchy. One reason I love living in the South is that many of our children (even grown) still say “Sir” and “Ma’am” when addressing their elders. It is good for children to address their elders as elders. Children need to honor their parents their entire lives, even as adults.

#4: Count Your Blessings. Sadly, too many people these days are counting their neighbor’s blessings and bemoaning the fact they feel they are missing out. This goes back to the “life’s not fair” rule–not everyone gets what everyone else has. I remember an older man who had poor vision, a messed up back, diabetes, and swollen painful feet. I asked him how he was doing? He responded, “Great! Every day I wake up is a great day.” I said skeptically, “Really?” He replied, “Many people would ask God, ‘Why me?’ I simply say God, ‘Why not me?’ It puts things in perspective for me. Someone always has it worse than you do. Count your blessings, I do.” I’ll never forget that conversation on the back row of a little Baptist Church with one of my elders. Teach your children to count their blessings. Help them understand how God has blessed America and how God has blessed your family. They need to hear this, a lot! Counting your blessings will teach your children to appreciate what they have an instill an attitude of gratitude.

#5: Nothing in Life is Free. I remember seeing commercials or advertisements as a child of “FREE” and hearing my father say, “nothing in life is free.” It was a statement of fact. Then my brother and I would try to figure out how much it cost, who paid for it or who was going to pay for it. I have remembered this lesson my entire life. Someone somewhere somehow someway has paid for that thing you call “free.” This saying teaches your children to look deeper into things and look for the strings that are attached. And it teaches your children that there are some really generous people out there that deserve their appreciation. Make your children thank those that do things for them. Lead your children in this in your home, at your church, at school and in your vocation. Teach your children to count the cost. It will help them develop greater critical thinking skills and weigh their own decisions before they make them.

#6: Finish What You Start – Don’t Do Things Half-Way. My parents would not let their children quit if they had started something or do a task half-way. I remember many times starting to lose a basketball game with my brothers and wanting to walk off and quit, but my father literally making me finish my losing effort. It was humiliating to me. If your children don’t learn humility in your home, it will be an even more painful lesson the world will teach them. But, it taught me to finish what I started. Teaching your children to finish what they start teaches them how to be committed. And we need commitment in our churches, marriages, relationships and jobs like never before. Commitment is imperative for your child to succeed in life. This rule also teaches your children to persevere and endure. These are critical qualities that they will need when adversity comes into their lives—and it will come. Finish what you start.

#7: In God We Trust. Teach your children that God is real, He is invisible and He sees everything. Teach your children that You are trusting in God. God is not the cosmic grandfather in the sky or the Big Man Upstairs. God is real and He is personal. God speaks to us through the Bible. Teach your children the value of the Bible. But, if you don’t read it, live it and love it…why would you expect your children to? The Bible teaches us who God is, how to know God and how to live in a way that pleases God. Trusting God also means fearing God. We need to teach our children, parents, that we fear God. Because we fear God, who is holy and sinless and absolutely loving, we want to please Him and be acceptable to Him. Therefore, we live in light of God’s instructions found in the Bible. Teach your children to trust in God. Don’t drop them off at church and expect someone else to do it. Read them the Bible stories when they are little. Then, when they are older read them the actual Bible and ask them questions. You will be surprised how easy it is for them to remember and how much they learn. It is completely natural and normal for children to believe in God. Why? Because children in their innocence have a purer capacity for faith. Tell a child there is God and they will believe. It is only until you harm them, abuse them, neglect them, manipulate them, confuse them, injure them or brainwash them that they stop believing. The child’s conscience has a great capacity to believe in God. It is only when sin cauterizes and desensitizes the conscience does our capacity toward faith diminish.

Build these expressions of life into the lives of your children. We need more responsible, harder working and more deeply committed men and women walking this planet. We as parents must be diligent and disciplined in building truth into our children’s lives. Don’t buy-in to the nonsense that children need to discover their own brand of truth. God placed you in the position of authority in their lives: He made you the parent and them the child. Don’t forget this order. You are to train them. I pray this helps in some way for your home today.

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it”

Proverbs 22:6