If development was easy, then you wouldn’t be reading this article. The reality is that development is difficult. The desire to develop self and others is real and most leaders will acknowledge it is part of their responsibility. However, the process of moving forward down the path of development is never as straight forward or as simple as it seems.

Development is a walk. It is a walk with others. There are times on this walk where you want to run, but you have to slow down. There are times where you are running and wish you were still walking. There are uphills and downhills and turns and twists that come at unexpected times. There are interruptions, disruptions and distractions on this walk. Development is a walk down a path with a bad map and missing signs. The only way to develop is to keep walking and stay on the journey. Development is not a train ride where you get on at one station and get off at the next and somehow in the process of the train ride you magically transformed, grew and developed. No development is a walk where growth happens not just one step at at time, but one series of steps at a time day-after-day, season-upon-season.

There are no easy days with development. There are good, rewarding and fulfilling days, but in real development, there is nothing easy about it. Anything easy means a lack of resistance. Development or growth is a process that is the revelation of one level of resistance after another. Development is a process by which change is demanded and growth the outcome. People change slowly and growth takes time.

Development is growth by degrees. A degree is a fractional measurement that is most often invisible. Leaders, especially, young leaders want to see their growth and chart their development. This often leads to great frustration both for the young leader looking for development and the senior leader facilitating development. Objectives, tasks and skills can be charted, but maturity cannot be. The difficulty with development is that much of it is invisible. You can’t chart when someone matures. You can only see the maturation when the pressure increases, a decision needs to be made or in a conversation.

Development is difficult because growth is not a guessing game. Too many young leaders treat development like if they can just guess the right answer it will make them the right leader. Leadership is never a function of guessing the right answer, but a function of knowing the right answer. I ask the young leaders I work with questions all of the time. I am not only looking for the right answer, I am looking for the right thought process, critical thinking and drawing conclusions.  I am looking for them to say they don’t know when I know they don’t know, instead of trying to guess the answer. Many young leaders inhibit their own development because they want to appear smart or possessing the right answer, so they will guess the answer or try to sound like they know what they are talking about. Development is not a guess, a hope or a wish. Development is not a game of chance. When individuals guess to appear right or sound good, they are missing the mark of development. Because, they are trying to convince themselves and the one doing the developing they are further along than they really are.

Development is difficult because it is personal.  People are unique. If you are in the process of developing others, a “one-size-fits-all” approach will never work for everyone. People are individuals. This means they receive, process and believe information differently. What confuses the matter even more for those desiring to be developed is the fact that there exists an abundance of information. Literally, a young leader desiring to develop can get lost in a maze of information or drown in a sea of data. Development is not a check-list. Development is more of a check-up. A check-list is something the individual can check off themselves. A check up involving a physician is an assessment given by a professional trained in examining another for deficiency. I try to have check-in’s and check-up’s with those I am developing. This is where I sit and ask questions. I am trying to get the younger leader sitting across from me to unravel their heart and mind, so that they can begin to become more self-aware of where they are sufficient and where they are deficient.

Development is difficult because it involves the truth. The truth can be painful. You don’t become a stronger leader by lifting light weights. You become a stronger leader by encountering the truth and learning how to handle it. The truth can be hard, harsh and heavy. Too many leaders in the development process avoid the truth as if it will somehow hinder the relationship or cause growth not to happen. Truth avoidance is one of the surest indicators of a lack of development.

Growth will never happen without the truth. Now, the delivery of the truth is what often has to be worked on. But, when you deliver the truth you do so simply, humbly and without conditions. I used to work with a phenomenal leader who was incredibly analytical, strategic and goal-oriented. However, this leader would often run rough-shod over the subordinate leaders. I could see extra stress when it was unnecessary all because this leader was so driven he would tip the environment from positive to negative because the objectives were in danger of not being met. I finally just had to tell him, “There are times that you get entirely too focused on the objective and forget about all the people you are leading to reach that objective. Your team doesn’t enjoy working with you during these times. Your speech turns negative, you stop making eye contact and you are very short with your people. You must change this behavior and create a positive environment.” He said, “Ouch, okay.” He began to work on it and even engaged several on his team to help him when he started getting that way. His development was sparked by a difficult conversation. Difficult conversations are often the catalyst for leaders who are stuck in their development journey.

Development is difficult because it requires awareness. You cannot fix what you are aware of. You also cannot fix what is diagnosed incorrectly. The first step in development is self becoming aware of what needs change. Others can tell you over and over again, but until the light of self-awareness dawns, self-development will be absent. I have sat with many young leaders who I will address a concern or issue and they will immediately say, “I know, I know.” Knowing and doing are two different things. In fact, if you say you know about an issue and have not taken steps to begin the process of change, then you know very little. We live in a day and age where information abounds, but self-awareness is lacking. Development is always first self-development. No one can fix you. They can present you with tools, resources and enlightenment, but only you can make internal adjustments. There will never be self-development until there is first self-awareness. Awareness leads to action. So, if action is absent, awareness is often absent.

Development is difficult because discipline is involved. There will be no true or lasting development without discipline. Discipline is not only the element that guides you to growth, but it is the element that will sustain your growth. No one grows well without good discipline. But, discipline is painful. Development is painful. This is why so many people talk about development and growth, but so few actually develop and grow.

Years ago, I had one of my top leaders stuck in his development. He was aware that there was an element of his leadership that was absent. In fact, every time we sat down and talked, this particular element always came up. His inability and unwillingness to step into an uncomfortable and painful part of his job and leadership was not only hindering his development, but affecting our organization. Eventually, the pain of not changing exceeded the pain of the change and he began to implement elements of discipline into his routine that began to reduce the discomfort and pain one day at time while gaining traction towards his own development. His discipline drove him to development.

Development is difficult because the journey is life long. There are no short-cuts on this journey. There is no fast-forward and no fast-track. Its a long, often tiring journey. In the development process, it’s never over. So, development can not only be tiring, but exhausting. But, development is also highly rewarding. There exists a deep, internal fulfillment when you grow yourself or when you see others grow. Any parent intrinsically knows this to be true. When my children could walk on their own two feet, spell their own name, tie their own shoes, ride their own bike and eventually drive their own car, I had a deep sense of satisfaction because I could see their growth. This was deeply rewarding for me, their parent. As a leader, the same sense of fulfillment exists in the development process of others. I have the same sense of fulfillment when my leaders learn new things, make better decisions, impact the organization and live a more productive life. When those who you are trying to foster development in begin to get it for themselves, it is rewarding and fulfilling for you.

If development was simple and easy, then we would never lack for great leaders and great followers. But, that is not the case. Development is difficult, painful and often cloudy. The abundance of information, pressure and voices make the climate today more challenging than in the past. But, development is a noble, worthy and critical pursuit that all leaders must engage first for themselves and then for those they lead. A leader is not an effective leader unless he or she is actively promoting the development of those they lead. Leaders must lean in and do the difficult work and walk of development. The price of development is a high price, but valuable things always come at a great price.

“I think you can accomplish anything if you are willing to pay the price.”

-Vince Lombardi