What is one thing that can be spent, not saved and never gotten back?

Time

We as humans on Planet Earth live in a linear fashion in regards to time. We have a start point, we move forward. There is no going back, there is no time travel back. Time: by it we measure and are measured. Once it is spent, it is gone. You cannot store it up. It is a commodity that can only be spent or misspent. Misspent time is wasted time.

How are you spending your time?

Parents, your time with your children is one of the most valuable commodities you will ever have. Your waking up, your meal times, your family times, your bed times all of these are precious, valuable and irreversible. Think back over your childhood. Inevitably, you have powerful memories for good or ill that happened at that time in your life and development. There is a clear link between emotionally healthy adults and emotionally healthy childhoods. Childhood is the most formative time that a human has.

Does your child’s behavior ever make you want to pull out your hair, hide, or maybe even scream?! Don’t give up hope, you are not alone and, oh by the way, they are normal children!

But, you want better for them, better than you experienced, better than right now…yes! Me too, then, read on and be encouraged.

Parents can exhibit strange behavior! My mom used to break into a song when my siblings and I were fighting, and we fought a lot (there are six of us — 5 boys and 1 girl). It would actually stop us fighting, wrestling, hair pulling, punching, squeezing, and frogging each other. She’d be singing,

“be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted forgiving…”

What? We thought, but it worked, she was changing our lives…

Two things that could change your kids’ lives:

1. Kindness. Is the home you are raising your children in kind? Kindness is more than being “nice.” Being nice is a good start. But, nice can sometimes be a cover for bitterness, ignorance or indifference. Nice is often just the path of least resistance and with so many passive-aggressive parents, it’s often easier to just “be nice” than being kind. (being nice is better than being rude!)

Kindness is an intentional act of the will. Kindness stems from your heart.  It is both a virtue and a value. To be kind is to demonstrate loving acts toward others because  they simply exist. Being kind is sharing the benevolence or generosity of your soul with another. Sadly, many parents/people are bankrupt in their souls and cannot pass what they don’t contain.

Teach your child to be kind to others. Teach them to willingly share what they possess (it’s easy to “share” something that doesn’t belong to you), to use kind words with kind tones, to smile, to laugh at appropriate times, to practice “random acts of kindness,” etc. Work to create a kind environment in your home. The “kind” home, the “kind” mom, etc. is the place your kids and their friends want to hang out. Your children will blossom with kindness towards others and towards you. But, you must practice it. Practice it while driving. Practice it while talking on the phone. Practice it while disagreeing with your spouse!

Kindness is more than a thought, kindness is action and you must model and instruct your children to do so.

2. Forgiveness. Possibly and probably more powerful than kindness is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the intentional release of another from a grievance, offense or injury. You must teach your children to be forgiving. A parent’s lack of forgiveness creates an insurmountable wall for a child to cross. Unforgiveness creates barriers in a child’s life that can become great hinderances in their relationships later in life–even potentially your relationship with them.

Forgiveness is the key to healing. Without forgiveness, healing and reconciliation are often impossible. When your child offends, disobeys, and rebels, it is important that the parent model forgiveness.

Parents, be responsible and take the initiative. Don’t exile your kids to the never-ending black hole of consequence. It is important that the parent say to the child, “I forgive you.” I am not saying to wash out all consequence of behavior, but it is the parent’s responsibility to engage the child and teach the child how to reconcile. Your child does need to recognize the “wrong” in their behavior, etc. Sadly, many parents further punish and damage their relationship with the child by not reconciling. Children need the security of reconciliation and forgiveness. It creates a secure and healthy emotional environment for your child to grow in.

Forgiveness is the path to healing and a key in maintaining healthy relationships.

My mother’s song was a Bible verse,

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” Ephesians 4:32

How has forgiveness and kindness changed your life?

Can’t Get Your Kids to Settle Down at Bedtime and Sleep?

Ever wished you could just flip a switch and turn your kids off at bed time? Does putting your kids to bed exhaust you?

My mother used to stand at the door and say, “Alex, time to turn your brain off?”

I’m sure she wished she had a switch to turn my brain off and to switch my active body functions into “sleep state”, but she didn’t. So what did she do?

Solution: Try Bedtime prayers.

But how are you supposed to pray?

Very simply!

God the Father is a loving and completely understanding Father so He would have that you prayed poorly and simply rather than not pray at all! Don’t measure your prayers or your children’s by eloquence (i.e. the old man who prays with Thee’s and Thoust’s as if Jesus only speaks the King’s Old English),

I believe prayer is very natural to little children. As they get older, prayer gets made into something too formal. The best prayers are simple, from the heart and full of faith.

Remember this…

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray The Lord, my soul to keep,
If I should die before I wake,
I pray The Lord, my soul to take,
God bless…Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister….

1. Get a Children’s Bible and read them the Bible stories at bedtime. Most children’s Bibles have very simple life application principles included in them or they are very easy to draw out. Briefly discuss the story with your kids and then get on your knees beside their bed and pray about what you just read.

2. Alternate between you and your kids praying. You don’t have to do the same thing every night, but pray every night. I suggest leading until they are ready to lead. When our children were very young, I always led in prayer. Don’t be afraid to let your kids hear you pour your heart out to God, especially on their behalf. One of the most touching times of prayer of my entire life, was when my then three-year old son and I prayed for his wife (brought me to tears!).

3. Dad needs to be involved. Sadly, many dad’s check out at bed time, although in recent years, I certainly hear of more dads getting involved at bed time.

4. Pray with lots of thankfulness. I mean teach them to be thankful for everyone and everything, you will get tired of them thanking God for the grass, the trees, the stray dog down the street, the sun, etc. Don’t cut them off unless they get lost repeating the same thing over and over again. It is important for the child to be cognizant of what they are praying about.

5. Talk to Jesus like he’s your best and most powerful friend. Teach them that you trust in God’s ability to answer prayers. Teach them that you truly believe (have faith) that Christ will answer your prayers. Teach them that praying is simply talking to Jesus.

6. Use standard prayers as starters or finishers. I will often pray “Now I Lay Me” or “The Lord’s Prayer” with my kids to start our bedtime prayers. I try not to use them as the only prayer. Children, quickly adhere to the discipline of prayer.

7. Pray for other people. Ask your child, “who should we pray for tonight?” or “do you have any prayer requests?” It will amaze you the things they have picked up on during the day.

The simple of act of bedtime prayer serves to instill the discipline of prayer, bring you and your child before the Throne of God, and invoke a powerful evening blessing of peace upon their impending hours of sleep. Many children suffer a fear of the dark and bedtime evokes a growing fearfulness. I find that Bedtime Prayers but a period on one day and turn the page to start the next day a new and a fresh!

What works for your kids at bedtime?