If you are a Christian, please stop taking the Lord’s name in vain. This means please stop saying, “Oh, my God!” without actually crying out to God.

A Good God has a Good Reason to be Called on

If you believe in God, then by all means call on his name. But, do so with reverence, respect and at the appropriate time. I think most of the people that just blurt out “Oh my God” don’t even think about what they are actually saying or who they are actually addressing. If you are a parent, and your child incessantly for no real, good reason says your name like a thousand times, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy” it probably bothers you just a little. In honesty, it probably annoys you greatly and your response is probably not all that it could or should be. But, my point is this, if it bothers you to have your name called for no, good reason, then shouldn’t it bother us if we call on God’s name for no good reason? If you don’t have a good reason to call on God by name, then keep your mouth shut or say something else. God is good. His name is good. Have a good reason to call on his name.

I find people that don’t take God’s name serious, normally don’t their relationship to God very serious.

Stop for a minute and think about the most devout, most holy or most Christ-like people you know, do they say “Oh my God”? I doubt it. I think using the name of God and Jesus so casually is reflective of the casual form of Christianity that is practiced in our culture today. Stop for a minute and ask yourself: When did it actually become okay to take the Lord’s name in vain? It didn’t, but as our relationship to God has become more casual than formal, culturally we began to accept calling God’s name without purpose, which actually means in vain.

I am thankful that when I was a boy my parents took their relationship to God seriously. So seriously, that if we were watching a television show and someone took the Lord’s name in vain, that show was turned off and would not be turned on again. You didn’t hear a lot of people using the Lord’s name in vain. Among Christians it wasn’t acceptable. And no matter how much our culture changes, for Christ’s followers it will never be acceptable.

Trading Formal for Casual

We have traded formal Christianity for casual Christianity. This was never the call. The call is to a personal relationship. Christians have somehow started accepting a casual form of Christianity instead fighting for relational Christianity. We’ve thrown out formal and replaced it casual. Casual means relaxed and unconcerned. Yikes! If you are truly a follower of Jesus Christ, then you definitely don’t want a relaxed or unconcerned relationship with the God of the Universe. Jesus Christ wants an authentic relationship with you. Great relationships always take great work. Why then are we so largely unconcerned with our relationship to God through Jesus Christ? There are probably many reasons, but at the bottom of all of it we have seemed to accept that we can be a Christian, yet not be serious about Christ and his Kingdom. This is a great error and it explains why we are unable to produce serious disciples, we, ourselves aren’t serious enough.

God does want you to think of him seriously, reverently, but also with approachability–relationally.

If you actually know someone and you care about them, it is rare that you would misuse, slander or use their name as a curse or casual expression of exasperation.  If you really know someone, then you actually use their name when you are addressing them or speaking highly of them. If you know them, you can approach them. God wants to be approached by his people. But, just as a respectful child approaches his father, so much more should we approach God, our Heavenly Father.

It’s easy to say whatever, whenever about whoever if you don’t actually know them and don’t fear any retribution from them. You know why? Because the speaker can’t be heard. People who think they are out of earshot or out of hearing are much more free to speak what’s in their heart, thinking they will not be heard.  But, let me let you in on something that you might have forgotten: God hears and records everything, including every time you have misused his name. Nothing is hidden from God (Hebrews 4:13).

What does it mean to “take the Lord’s name?” and is it still relevant today?

Isn’t it offensive to you for someone to lie about you and misrepresent your name? Of course it is. God feels the same way. How do I know this? Because the first time that God clarified what he expected from man (so that man was without excuse) God said (Exodus 20:7),

“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.”

This expression “in vain” means “with emptiness,” “nothingness” or “falsehood.” So, when someone takes the Lord God’s name in vain, they are saying his name as nothing and simultaneously denying his character. A lot of Christians say the Lord’s name in vain. They have heard it said so much and they themselves have said it so often, that they don’t even hear themselves saying it.  Hearing God’s name used in vain (or Jesus’s name) should make you cringe, especially if it comes out of your own mouth! It should be like nails on a chalkboard to your soul. You know why? Because, if you are a Christian, God’s Holy Spirit, the Third Member of the Trinity, lives in your soul. He doesn’t like to hear his name misused, misrepresented or misspoke. It is offensive to him. It grieves him.

Your words matter. Someone will argue that we are in now in the New Covenant and that we are under grace, so it really doesn’t matter what we say. Well, they would be flat wrong. Jesus said (Matthew 12:36-37),

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

The Old Covenant was not thrown out like expired milk, although some would have you to believe that. We just now understand that we wipe the foam off the top to get to the whole milk underneath. The power behind/under the principles that were revealed under the Law certainly remain. Yes, we are under grace, but grace is not to be cheap or wasted. We are to be serious in our understanding and not stay as children with immature understanding and careless, unconcerned habits. We must grow more serious the more wicked our world becomes.

Think before you Speak

How do we sing God’s name in one breath and then use it as an exasperation with the next breath. The same person that will sing songs to Jesus in worship in the sanctuary or in their car will the very same day say “Oh, my God!” when they are cut off by another car in the church parking lot or spill their coffee in their car. Think more about Jesus and you won’t accept his name being misused coming out of your mouth. I think most Christians today haven’t been taught not to misuse his name. The world will always misuse his name, but we shouldn’t. We are called into God’s family, why then would, we, ourselves use the name of our Most High Father with anything but reverence?

“Let them praise the name of the LORD, for his name alone is exalted; his majesty is above earth and heaven.” Psalm 148:13

Don’t take his name. Don’t use his name. Don’t curse his name.

Praise His name.

(c) Alex Vann, 2018

As our society and culture becomes more casual, this word becomes more important for those who look to differentiate themselves from their peers.

This week’s leadership word: Presentation

Presentation is where presence meets projection.

People are always wanting to know (a) can I trust you and (b) are you prepared? A strong, positive presentation is a personal statement of both trustworthiness and readiness. This is true of a customer who walks up to consider your wares. This is true of a leader who is wondering if you have earned a promotion. This is true of a potential mate, employer or relationship.

Your personal presentation is a statement to others on how to interact and respond to you.  Poor personal presentation kills your influence and creates a negative impression. A positive personal presentation creates greater influence and calls for others to respond to you with seriousness, attention and respect.

Presentation is a statement about what you are offering. This is important, because you must learn to see the people around you as your potential investors. You must present yourself and your responsibilities well so that others are willing to invest. A strong, positive personal presentation creates a greater inclination towards trust and opens the door for opportunity.

Your dress, your attitude, your tone, your language, the number of words you use, your energy, your passion, your appearance, your grooming, your smell, your breath, your hair style and, yes, your social media presence all add up to equal your personal presentation. It’s not just one, it’s all of these and more combined at all times.

You must be sharp. This means you present a message by who you are of order, of dependability and preparation. If you are not presenting a message of sharpness, you are presenting a message of being dull. The sharp knife always replaces the dull one. This means sharp dressed, sharp groomed and sharp eyed.

Presentation means you have put the work in before you show up. Presentation means you don’t ever just show up. Your energy and your enthusiasm are contagious. People are drawn to energy. People are drawn to simple, sincere energy. Without it you are merely presenting ideas they are convinced you believe in or have changed you.

“Your enthusiasm becomes their enthusiasm; your lukewarm presentation becomes their lukewarm interest in what you are offering.”
-Bill Walsh

Your preparation determines your presentation. Your personal presentation is where you transmit your presence. Presentation, thus, is a powerful statement of who you are and what you are about. You want to strengthen your personal presentation. A great meal is enhanced by the atmosphere that is created. Your abilities are enhanced by your presentation, because you are not a hermit. You live among people. The Bible tells the truth, “People look at the outward appearances, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). Don’t deceive yourself, people do look at outward appearances (God looks at your heart). People are always looking. So, as you are dealing with people, you need  to prepare and to present well.

Wrapping paper paves the way for a gift, just as personal presentation paves the way for influence.

Let’s go to work!

(C) Alex Vann, 2018

Jesus: Too Well-Kept a Secret 

Too many of those that claim Christ treat him like a well-kept secret. I call this kind of Christian a secret Christian. They are like a spy for Jesus. Except Jesus didn’t send out any of his people as spies. He sent his people out as messengers and story tellers. Proclaiming the message of Jesus is simply retelling what we have already heard. This is what the Apostle John wrote about,

“That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life— the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us— that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.” [1 John 1:1-3]

Did you see it? It’s hard to share about something you haven’t witnessed, haven’t seen or haven’t heard about. But, if you have heard the story and you know the story, then you can share the story.

A friend who tells your stories 

For example, I have a friend that loves to hear my stories. We’ve spent a lot of time together over the years and he has heard my repertoire of stories a lot. In fact, once when I wasn’t around, he was on a trip and told me that the other people on the trip were kind of boring and conversation wasn’t going so well. So, he decided he needed to share my stories and he said they loved them.

Christians must be friends of Jesus, who know his story and will gladly retell his story.

But, sometimes the story, the narrative is a little too heavy for our tastes or the tastes of the audience. We are tempted to give them a “lite” version.

Is there a “lite” version of Christianity?

Lite food and beverages mean less or lower calories. Christians today are seeking a less heavy form of Christianity. The want all the pleasure of Christ, but without all the cost of Christ. They want to be his friend, but with very little work, effort or sacrifice.

After this Jesus went about in Galilee. He would not go about in Judea, because the Jewsa were seeking to kill him. Now the Jews’ Feast of Booths was at hand. So his brothers said to him, “Leave here and go to Judea, that your disciples also may see the works you are doing. For no one works in secret if he seeks to be known openly. If you do these things, show yourself to the world.” For not even his brothers believed in him. Jesus said to them, “My time has not yet come, but your time is always here. [John 7:1-6]

“For no one works in secret if he seeks to be known openly,” said Jesus’ brothers. By the way, these half-brothers were certainly James and Jude (authors of books of the New Testament). Jesus’ brothers were skeptics and probably antagonistic toward their older, gentler and, oh by the way, perfect older brother. Can you imagine living as Jesus’s brother? Some of us had older siblings (six kids in my family) who our parents acted like they were perfect (thankfully in my case this wasn’t the case), in James and Jude’a case these was actually true.  Can you imagine Mary, their mother saying, why can’t you be more like your older brother?!

What Jesus’s Brothers Got Right

But, his brothers actually got this one thing right “For no one works in secret if he seeks to be openly known.” Jesus didn’t correct them, because they were right. But, they were wrong about his timing. He responds, “My time has not yet come…” He didn’t refute what was true. It’s true if you want to be known, then you don’t work in secret.  If you want something to be known, then you’ve got to work openly, transparently and boldly. This is why church finances, marriages, relationships, businesses, organizations, teams and projects fail: they are conducted in secret.

To be known means to apprehend or understand with clarity and certainty. The brothers of Jesus didn’t know Jesus yet as he truly was–Lord of heaven and earth, the Lamb that takes away the sin of the world, etc. There time of understanding had not yet happened. Jesus was certain or clear to them yet. They were confused about who their half-brother really was, but they wouldn’t always be. James would become known as “camel-knees” because, tradition has it, he prayed so much and so fervently that his knees grew callouses like a camel. James and Jude would become leaders in the Church of Jesus Christ, but not yet. They had to move from unknowing to knowing.

Jesus wants to be known by his followers and made known by his followers. To know something is to grasp it, to understand it and to be fully aware of it. Sadly, this does not describe Jesus’s brothers or many of Jesus’s followers today. That’s why he tells them, “…but your time is always here.” Your time to believe, your time to understand and your time to know and make me known is always here is what he is saying. As long as you are breathing, you can know Jesus and make him known. This is our jobs Christians: make him known. He’s not a secret.

The Church of Jesus Christ, more specifically, people that are claiming to be Christians, have the responsibility to work openly to make Jesus known. We have to come out of our shadows and proclaim the story of the only One that can save men’s souls. This is a Christian’s duty, responsibility and it must become his conviction. Christians must work. Yes, work to make him know. Work openly, work publicly and work with conviction.

(c) Alexander F. Vann. 2016

Friday Family Tip #1: Do as much as you can together.

This may seem obvious, but in reality moms and dads often lead very separated and isolated lives trading children for which ever spouse it’s more convenient. This is a recipe for rebellious children, a fractured family and ultimately, a divorce.

This kind of dual-living really speaks to the properties of the parents and quality of their marriage, which is the core of the family structure and health. Healthy marriages facilitate healthy families. Wake up, if your marriage is in trouble, your family is in trouble. Wake up if your priorities center around you, your family is in trouble. Families that have shared priorities are happier, healthier and work together better as a whole. Families that have competing priorities are associates not friends, escalate into hostility quickly and are generally looking for substitutionary means of happiness that come from outside the family (the root of many affairs).

Together means “with, at the same time, without interruption.” So, families that do things with each other, at the same time, without interruption are doing things together. Together means “not apart.” Together means unity and wholeness. Families must discipline themselves to work together, play together, eat together, disagree together and be together. This can be hard for some families (certainly, there are times that work/vocation make this impossible), but it is really about melding an attitude, a spirit and a heart of family unity that is an indivisible and indefatigable bond.

“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained.”

Winston Churchill

Happy families have strong bonds. This idea of bonding is critical for your family’s health and happiness. Bonds are formed and strengthened as your family spends time together. When parts of the family are missing, they are missing out on strengthening the bond. Bonds are born by time spent by doing things close together. Some of my most poignant memories of my childhood became bonds of suffering as I and my five siblings went everywhere together in our 1979 Chevrolet Impala station wagon with no air conditioning and half the windows that didn’t work. Environments, activities and situations create unbreakable bonds between children and parents.

We live in a generation that’s all about “me.” That can be me the kids or me the parents. Part of the role of a family is to teach everyone about commitment, cost and sacrifice. My parents didn’t cater to their six children, nor did they make us cater to them. There were family priorities that affected everyone in to family that helped determine what we did as a family.

Parents take your kids with you wherever you go, whenever you go as often as you can as an ENTIRE FAMILY. Don’t fragment your family unless you have to. Fragmentation is a structure that has developed into pieces or parts. The healthy family functions as a whole, single unit.This creates a system of support. So, when the members of the family have problems (and trust me you all will), they can turn to their immediate and closest support system–their family.

Create and schedule intentional whole family activities where all parents and all children are engaged. Parents, this means NO CELL PHONES. Family activities are the most influential and memorable when mom and dad are fully present and attentive. Play a board game, eat meals at a table, watch a movie (on Clearplay or VidAngel), go to the park, go for a walk, go to the grocery store and attend church together. Being present and attentive signifies a healthy family support system.

Keep your children as close to your wings as possible for as long as possible. Don’t push them out of the nest to figure out how to fly on their own. Put them on your back and jump out of nest with them, as a family. This will keep them coming back to the nest as a place of safety, security and happiness.

Selfish parents seek to do lots of “things” by themselves apart from their kids. Keep your kids close, change your lifestyle to benefit your children, not your children to benefit yours.

Principle #1 is about sharing and doing life together. Otherwise, when they are grown, they will not want to share their life with you. You have a short window of opportunity to really enjoy your kids when they are young, otherwise they will not enjoy your company when they are old.

Dear Parents,

You are the model for your children. The government is not the model. The actors and actresses on the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon are not the models. Reality television people are not the models. Pop stars are not the models. Athletes are not the models. YOU are the model.

A model is a system, shape or representation of what you follow or imitate. Your children are either imitating you or the world. A large part of children’s learning is directly related to what they are modeling or imitating. The question is parent, “What kind of model are you?”

There used to be a common sense understanding in our culture that if you had a platform, then you understood that people were watching you and you needed to act with some dignity, honor and respect. However, as our culture wallows in confusion and escalates towards chaos and a mob mentality, basic human respect for one another has been thrown out the window. You can’t model yourself after yourself. So, as a parent you must be worthy of emulation. You must have some distinctive markers that are worthy of imitation.

Model Kindness over Cruelty

People can be mean. Kids can be cruel. Children are not naturally cruel. They are naturally inquisitive and rebellious. Children are by nature accepting. As they grow older they become less accepting and more cruel, if you let them. You cannot demand acceptance, you have to model it. Children have an amazing capacity to love and accept others. This is critical that parents model kindness. I can be kind to someone and totally disagree with a choice they have made, a statement they have said or a action they have taken. Kindness is more than just being “nice.” Kindness is an intentional act of the will to demonstrate care, concern and compassion to those around you. One way to teach children to be kind is to have a pet and demonstrate kindness to the pet. Kindness helps others. Cruelty hurts others. Cruelty is an intentional act to injure, hurt or demean another.

Harshness and selfishness leads to cruelty. Cruelty demonstrates a hardening of the heart. Parents, do not be cruel to your children. If you are, then you will produce a tyrant, a cold-hearted adult that will lack compassion and sensitivity for others. Demanding adults often produce cruel children. The thermometer of meanness is rising in our world. Turn the thermostat down with kindness, compassion and a genuine concern for others. But, if you the parent don’t care about others around you, then why would you expect your kids to do something different.

Insist that your kids be kind. Don’t sit by and watch your kids or someone else’s kids be mean. You are a parent and an adult. Engage, correct and model. Be worthy of emulation.

Model Kindess over Criticism

It actually doesn’t take a lot to be kind, the problem is YOU are in the way. What happens to YOU? You get offend, then you get mean. You get hurt, then you seek retribution. You are annoyed, then you lash out. You are impatient, then you yell. You feel slighted, then you punish. When you do these things in full view of your kids, then you are teaching your kids hardness. Hard people have a difficult time being kind people.

Yes, it is easier to speak criticizing words than kind words. But, it’s not beneficial.

Kind words heal. Critical words cut. 

Kind words soothe. Critical words crush.

Kind words are a bubble bath. Critical words are a sandpaper scrub.  

When you the parent speak critical word after critical word to your children you are cutting up their tender hearts, tender attitudes and tender spirits up. Kind words are conduits. Conduits of kindness are channels of blessing. Critical and harsh words are like blockages in pipes. They stop the flow. Kindness is contagious and it causes others to excel, grow and develop in a healthy environment.

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions,

and the roots spring up and make new trees!“

~Amelia Earhart 

Model Kindness over Ignorance 

Kindness often means you have to get involved. Involvement is the opposite of ignorance. In a harsh, hard world, the weak, the helpless and the destitute are left to fend for themselves–they are ignored. However, Jesus propagated a kindness that instructed his followers to get involved in the lives of others, especially, those that need help. As a parent, when you ignore the needs of others, you are modeling selfishness for your children. When you see someone in need, chances are your kids see them in need as well. Now, I’m not saying you can or should help everyone. But, as you have opportunity do good (be kind) to and for others.

Real Life Example: Homeless & Hungry 

I remember when I had a restaurant in downtown Atlanta. One Sunday afternoon, I was doing some things in the empty store and I looked out the window and saw a homeless man digging through the trash can. Now, I worked downtown Atlanta, and this was nothing new for me to see. But, my 5-year old son was standing right beside me. I was hoping that he didn’t see the guy, so I could go about my day. I was hoping we could ignore this every day occurrence for me.

“Daddy, what is that man doing?” my son asked.

“Well, I think he is hungry and looking for something to eat…” I replied.

“We should give him something,” my son said. I’ll be very transparent, part of me didn’t want to give him anything because for several months the homeless population had been coming to my dumpster every night and pulling half of the trash bags out, ripping them open and leaving a huge mess every morning outside all of our trash cans.

“Son, you’re right,” I said with a warming of the heart. We went and found some food for him piled it up in a bag for him and went out and took it to him (I did ask him to clean up any trash he created). In that moment it was my opportunity to model kindness to another person in need in full view of my son and allow him to be involved.

Where is your opportunity to model kindness? Your kids need. You need it. Our world needs it.

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,

even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

Ephesians 4:32, KJV

Courage. Not everyone has it and not everyone will activate it. Only a few will stand toe to toe with their fears and say, “come what may.”

Last week, over 70 years ago, courageous men stormed into the face of great opposition to throw of the yoke of tyranny and oppression in Operation Overlord. The Day, would become known as D-Day, June 6, 1944. At Omaha Beach alone, most units suffered a casualty rate of 90%, with some units near 100%. Over 3,300 men were lost on that one beach alone. Wave after wave of men, stormed the beach heads down, inching forward, the loss of life, the chaos of war everywhere. The ramp came down, the bullets, shells and violence flew, but these men born of courage, moved forward.

What drove them on?

Courage.

Courage is born of conviction. Cowardice is born of self-interest. Worry is the path to fear. Your worries will turn into uncontrollable fears. So, instead of controlling your fears, your fears end up controlling you: this is known as paranoia. Fear kills trust. Leaders and followers alike that operate through the lens of paranoia will ultimately be consumed by paralysis, delusion or departure. Fear subverts the leader-follower relationship.

It takes courage to face your fears. Facing your fears simply means looking through your fears to see what is on the other side. This is why fears destroy faith, fear is all about what you think you see, not what you really see. Faith is the absence of sight. They conflict. Faith breeds and builds courage. Convictions strengthen courage.

Courage is a catalyst that stirs the hearts of others. Courage starts in the heart and moves to the mind. Fear strikes in the mind and moves to the heart. Courage and cowardice both exist in the heart. However, courage rises up to strike down the fears that fall from the mind, where cowardice sucombs and obeys the fears.

Courage is contagious. There is something in the human soul that gravitates and is inspired by those who demonstrate courage. A seemingly insignificant act coupled with courage can become the defining moment of a life, an organization or a people.

God is good.

But do we really believe that?

I mean, there is great sorrow, strife, discord, and injury in our lives–almost continually it would seem. Despite humanities “advances” in medicine, science, technology, and equality, the abuses and injuries from one human to another continue to mount. It is evident that our advances do not enhance man’s ability to be good. And because humanity continues to destroy one another, we find it easy, in fact, it’s promoted to doubt the goodness of God.

So, again do we really believe that God is good?

Well, truly, only you can answer that question.

But, what is evident is that we don’t believe it, when the object of our focus moves from the totality of God’s goodness to enormity of our issues, adversities and concerns. We scrap His goodness and replace them with our worries. When we do this, we sin.

When worry becomes the object of our focus, we have made an idol. When doubt becomes the object, we have made an idol. When prediction of future happenings becomes the object we have made an idol. Paul writes “flee from idols” (1 Corinthians 10:14).

If you flee, you become a refugee. Too many Christians won’t flee–won’t flee their idols. These idols have taken first place in our lives. When the idol has taken first place, then they have captured your hands, your strength, your mind, and ultimately your heart. Refugees must flee. Flee with abandon. A refugee that doesn’t flee with abandon, will never worship God with abandon.

The Bible has some other names for a refugee: a pilgrim, an exile or a sojourner. Consider what the Apostle Peter wrote,

“Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.” (1 Peter 2:11)

But, a refugee has one aim…find refuge. Refuge is a place of security and provision. A refuge is a stronger place than the strong forces that are pushing and pulling against you. Once found, this refuge is a good place.

The LORD is good, a refuge (stronghold) in the day of trouble; he knows (takes care of) those who take refuge in him. Nahum 1:7

For this discourse, an object is that thing that attracts, engages, captures and then demands our attention. Once our attention is sufficiently engaged, we begin to measure ourselves against the object. This is where worship enters. The distance between your heart and the object is the length at which you will go to worship, until the object captures your heart. Once it captures your heart, a throne is established. And once the throne is established a course will be set.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23, NLT

Who or what is seated on the throne of your heart?

If it is nothing, then you are like a rudderless ship being pushed whichever way the currents in your life push you. If it is another human, then you are always measuring yourself by, for or against them, and they are as flawed as you are. If it is an dream, a future, then you become a slave to the dream regardless of reality. If it is a worry, you will become consumed.

That which you worship will always consume you. And if you worship nothing, then, either you will consume yourself or you will be consumed by everything else.

David, despite the plethora of adversity, sorrow and suffering knew that God was good as he wrote, “I remian confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13). Idols kill your confidence in God. Only God can restore, revive and resurrect your confidence in Himself. When I see God’s faithfulness, I know that He is good. When I see God’s kindness, I know that He is good. When I see God’s creation, I know that He is good. When I met God’s Son, Jesus, I know that He is good.

Trust in God is never misplaced. Our Founding Fathers knew this and had it stamped onto the edifices and economy of our country “In God We Trust.”

Is “In God I Trust” stamped on the throne of your heart? If not, you will have a hard time saying “God is good.”

I am no parenting expert nor am I perfect. I come from good parents who were not perfect, either. However, I married very well and my wife, Julie, has been a great inspiration and influence on our joint-parenting efforts. This lesson I learned from her…

One of the worst things you can do is a parent is teach your child, especially your young child, delayed obedience. Let me give you an example:

“(Child’s name) come here, put that down, stop it, eat your food, etc. ” Parent says.

Child doesn’t respond. Parent issues another statement,

“You have until I count to three, ONE….(LONG PAUSE, calmly), TWOOOOOOOO (louder with more emphasis and force)……THREEEEEEEEE! (you are yelling and fuming now!) –Your Three Count was really about 300 seconds.

You reach your boiling point, you yell, “That’s it…”

Child still hasn’t moved or obeyed, so parent begins the Walk of Consequence. You are mad, you are fuming, you are exhausted, you are annoyed.

Then and only then, does the child move, “I’m coming!” yells the child. You are glad to finally have obedience. But, it’s your fault, well, at least partially…

Parenting Tip: Don’t “count to three (or five or ten)” when asking your child to obey, you are only reinforcing their disobedience and teaching them to devalue your word. Ask them only once, and then proceed with consequences. Make sure you communicated correctly and they did  hear you (not hearing only works once!).

When you haggle, barter and bribe your child you place the child in the position of authority. You, as a parent are suspending your authority by the counting process. You are diminishing your expectation of obedience that you have for your child.

Someone might argue that counting gives the child time to work out their obedience in their heart. Yes and no. Yes, obedience is always a heart issue and you must remember when dealing with a child there always exists a measure of childishness ignorance and outright rebellion. Parents must teach to enlighten ignorance and put a stop to rebellion. No, a child doesn’t need time to work out obedience. Delayed obedience is a form of disobedience.

Remember the most influential place you will deal with your child is not their emotions, their mind or their intellect, it is their heart. The heart is the throne of the child just as much as it is for the parent. Your children are not mini-adults. They are children and must be raised up from childhood to adulthood.

“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child” (Proverbs 22:15) and your counting only makes it worse.
Let me know, do you count? have you stopped? what’s working for you?