The Secret to Winning and Developing Your Millennial Leaders is simply this:

If you want to truly influence them, then you have to understand where they are. Many leaders today only understand where they aren’t.

This article is designed to help the Baby Boomer, Baby Buster and Gen. X leader gain better insight into the mindset of the millennial leader. If you have leaders from 20 to 35, then you have millennials who are leaders or see themselve as leaders. Stop trying to change reality and start understanding it. Ignorance leads to arrogance. Increase your insight and your leadership development strategy will be better for it. Too many senior leaders have created a leadership culture that is unforgiving to millennial leaders. If you want to win in leadership today, you better learn what makes the millennial mindset tick. Then, you can teach it how to tock!

Millennials are bombarded with information, yet they are highly selective and individualization in what they believe works best for them. Human nature has not changed. But, our access to information has changed. This has accelerated the belief-and-achieve curve, inflated egos and self-assurance among the next generation called Millennials. But, a lesson for every Millennial, Centennial, Gen X’er and Baby Boomer is this information doesn’t make you a leader any more than a new paint job makes a car without an engine move.

Leaders today must learn what’s under the hood before they hit the road.

There’s one question that can quickly get you past so much of your frustration and help you identify a better course action with your millennial leaders or millennials your are trying to develop. This question will help you understand where your millennial is building from or why they aren’t able to build much at all.

Ask this question: “Who is your model?”

Chances are 50% of them will pause, look at you like you just asked them if they speak Nepalese, and say “Myself, I guess.” The next large group of them will say someone they have never met or someone that is really only an acquaintance. The smallest group will identify either you or someone in your organization. If I have learned nothing else in my over 20 years of leading and developing people it’s this: Every successful leader has had a model or models that has influenced them greatly. No leader pops out of the womb or arrives on the scene ready to lead all by themselves with no outside influence, no training and no development. That kind of leader is reckless and inexperienced. That kind of leader is like putting a toddler behind the wheel of Tesla. The reality for many of your millennials is they simply have the wrong model or no model at all. You cannot be your own model. Sadly, many leaders across the generation divides have this strategy. When you are your own model you are destined for failure.

Ask your Millennials who they are modeling themselves after. How they respond will give you better insight into where they really are in their leadership development and growth track.

Lesson #1 – Teach Millennials the Model is for Measurement. View leadership development as growth. We have a “growth chart” on our wall in our mud room at home for our children. Each September, my wife will measure them on the wall and make a mark. I remember as a middle-schooler using my mother as my measuring stick. I remember catching her in height and then passing her. But, once I passed her I needed a new model–my dad. Millennials must also be taught that a model is not solely for admiration and accreditation. Most of our young leaders have a strong desire to build a large network, but only in as much as they can get from it and not give into it. Be careful that you don’t foster the idea that a model is more than a reputation or status enhancer. A model is for emulation and measurement.

Get the Model Right

It is important to select the right model. The right model is a more than modern mentoring. Modern mentoring is rapidly becoming an exercise in frustration and futility. A good model is consistent in practice, character and conduct. A good model exercises wisdom and sound judgment. A good model is a good leader who seeks the growth and maturation of others.

A model is a person that serves as a pattern for others with character qualities worthy of imitation. A model serves as a point of reference and who has a position that will influence and foster growth in others.

When you have the wrong model, you are shaping yourself the wrong way.

Recently, I sat down with a frustrated millennial leader. This leader didn’t understand why they weren’t getting promoted. I stopped them after hearing a lot of excuses and asked this question: “Who is your model? Who are you modeling yourself after?”

This leader paused. Looked at me. Looked out the window. Looked back and me and said, “No one here, really. Just myself, I guess.”

I responded, “That’s the problem.” When you have the wrong model, you get the wrong results. Since, all leaders start at immaturity and are growing up toward greater maturity, models are critical to our development. Models are others who are at a more mature place in their own development and have qualities and attributes that are worthy of emulation and replication. A young leader might do many things well, but no one (except Jesus) does all things well.

Lesson #2 – Millennials tend t0 choose a make over a model. Typically, they want the shiniest, prettiest car that elevates their status, instead of the most trusted, reliable and consistent performer. It’s largely not their fault. They have been conditioned to believe these things. You must help them see that what’s under the hood is more important that the color of the paint–that the performance is more important than the appearance.

Models are used for imitation and replication. We all need models. The Apostle Paul wrote that someone could have 10,000 teachers and no father, thus they were to model or imitate him (1 Corinthians 4:15). We all need models, because we are filled with deficiencies, defects and deficits. Models show us why we need growth, how to grow and where to grow. The wrong models will never provide the right vision for growth. Models give us examples to see. And appearance is important to Millennials.

Lesson #3 – Millennials have a bent more toward being concerned with how they externally appear than how they internally constructed. Their undeniable lack of emotional maturity and subsequently, emotional intelligence, insulates their ability to think very circumspectly outside of themselves. They were not told “life isn’t fair,” “there is one winner and a bunch of losers,” or “you want something,  go work for it.” They were told, “great trying,” “wow, you are special,” and “here is ribbon for 12th place.” Their ignorance is your responsibility, if you want to develop them. You will never win them if you don’t understand them.

Lesson #4 – Millennials lack maturity and your frustration or disdain doesn’t help them gain more maturity. Your frustration pushes them away. We live in a development climate that senior leaders must adapt their systems and styles of development like never before. Human nature doesn’t change, but because of our access to information and our inflated self-evaluations, our systems of development must change. You have to earn their right to be their model and your title and position is not enough.

Lesson #5 – Millennials are not looking for fun, they are looking for engagement. Don’t mistake entertainment with engagement.  At the deepest level this is what it is. Because of social media and the constant connectivity of their world, we live in an era of over-stimulation. Engagement is your ability as a leader to connect at an appropriate level, (a) which starts with the heart, (b) shapes thoughts, and (c) influences behaviors. Effective leaders who work with Millennials are able to paint a picture of the future that aligns and appeals to the Millennnial, but is in harmony with the needs and goals of the organization. Leaders often get frustrated with having to “cater” to Millennials. Let me encourage you not to see your adjustments as catering, but as connecting. If you don’t connect with the millennials in your organization, their departure will be hastened.

Lesson #6 – Millennials see themselves as highly mobile with an upward destination–they are always looking for what is next. You become more effective as you become more accepting of this. Millennials as a whole (of course not all of them) don’t understand loyalty the way previous generations do. I don’t like it, but it is the reality of our day. When you are willing to engage and help your millennial leader explore the future, then the by-product is more loyalty.

Millennials see you as either helping them or holding them back. There is no middle ground. If you want to be effective at developing Millennials as leaders, then you must help them see that your system increases their competitiveness in a highly competitive landscape. They must see that your system values their individuality and helps them move forward.

This is what Gen Xers and Baby Boomers often fail to see–how competitive the landscape is and how hard (in their minds) progress actually is. What this really means is to a millennial is pressure. Millennials see opportunities without clear solution paths which increases anxieties, fears and stress. You, the more mature leader, know the pitfalls and realities of life they aren’t seeing. But, when you play the expert as opposed to promoter, then Millennials have a tendency to move on. The most effective developers of Millennials I have seen really do promotion well–they are (in today’s lingo) the “hype-man.” You may not like it, agree with it or believe in it, but it is true. Hype is for a Millennial is belief. When you hype them, they feel you believe in them. For many of us, to hype someone goes against everything we believe in and stand for. Don’t be afraid of it, hype is just a modern way to think about encouragement, attention and praise. Everyone likes encouragement, just as every millennial likes to be hyped! I’m not encouraging you to resort to flattery, but don’t be afraid to take your organizational encouragement to a new level and explore new methods.

Lesson #7 – Millennials are going to move on, don’t be afraid to talk about it. They don’t know this causes you anxiety. They are discussing it among themselves. You must create a system that encourages them to move on. This will engage them on a deeper level for you.

I spend time with a lot of leaders who are afraid of their people moving on. This is an error. Don’t be afraid to talk about your Millennials moving on. In fact, you increase your credibility with your Millennials when you talk about what they will do next in life. When your people see that you are not afraid to loose them, they will often stay longer. I don’t have any science to back me up, but by the behavior I have observed, there is clear evidence that this has a reverse-psychological effect, which in turn often creates greater capacity for patience. Stop trying to keep them and start preparing to help them leave. In doing this, you become their model.

Conclusion

The bottom line is this: If you want to go up, then you have to grow up. This is for both the Baby Boomer/Gen Xer and the Millennial. Don’t play the expert. Be a learner. Some of the greatest joy you will ever experience is the joy of seeing a young leader who you’ve poured into grow, blossom and bear fruit. Invest deeply and be prepared to let go. This requires patience and selflessness. Chances are, one day you will look up and see a “mini-me” looking back at you!

Develop leaders, it’s always worth it.

(c) Alex Vann, 2017